“When Love Was Never Taught Right”

Love is supposed to be the thing that holds us together. But what if the only love you ever knew was incomplete?

For some, it starts at home — parents who love each other with passion, respect, and tenderness. They grow up seeing what a healthy relationship looks like, and they carry that blueprint into the rest of their lives. They know what to look for. They know what to expect. They know what they deserve. But not all of us saw that. Some of us saw absence instead of affection. Silence instead of support. Coldness instead of connection. And when you grow up without ever truly seeing love done right, you go looking for it anywhere you can. You chase it. You cling to it. You take whatever scraps are given, thinking it’s enough — because you don’t know any better.

I used to chase after people who didn’t even want me. People who were mean to me. People who hurt me — mentally, emotionally, and sometimes even physically. I told myself it was love. I told myself it would change. I told myself I just needed to try harder. The truth? I was fragile. I was insecure. And I was giving my heart to people who had no business holding it.

Every relationship I’ve had has shown me just how much I didn’t know about love — especially self-love. I embarrassed myself in front of people who weren’t worth my time, my energy, or my tears. I bent myself into shapes that weren’t mine, just to be chosen. And in the process, I lost myself a little more each time.

It’s a dangerous thing — not knowing how to love yourself. Because if you don’t, you’ll let anyone decide your worth. And when you hand that power over to the wrong person, they’ll break you without even blinking.

I’m still learning. I’m still piecing myself back together. But I know this now:
The love I give others will never mean anything if I can’t give it to myself first. And the next time I hand my heart to someone, it will be because I want to — not because I’m desperate for them to make me feel whole.